The Gashlycrumb Terrors
A is for anthrax, deadly and white.
B is for burglars who break in at night.
C is for cars that have minds of their own
and accelerate rapidly in a school zone.
D is for dynamite lit with a fuse.
E is for everything we have to lose.
F is for foreigners, different and strange.
G is for gangs and the crimes they arrange.
H is for hand lotion, more than three ounces;
let’s pray some brave agent soon sees it and pounces.
I is for implants (I’ll explain when you’re older).
J is for jokers who only grow bolder.
K is for kids who aren’t afraid
to play in the park or drink lemonade.
L is for lead in our toys and our food.
M is for Mom’s cavalier attitude.
N is for neighbors — you never can tell:
is that a book club or terrorist cell?
O is for ostrich, with head in the sand.
P is for plots to blow up Disneyland.
Q is for those who would question authorities.
R is for radical sects and minorities.
S is for satanists, who have been seen
to give children razor blades on Halloween.
T is for terrorists, by definition.
U is for uncensored acts of sedition.
V is for vigilance, our leaders’ tool
for keeping us safe, both at home and at school.
W is for warnings with colors and levels.
X is for xraying bags at all revels.
Y is for you! So don’t be a dope.
Z is for zero tolerance, our finest hope.